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Jan 7, 2023 · If you have Siri set to start when one of those ears is double-tapped, that ear will probably drain more quickly than the other. Here's how to adjust your AirPods settings. 1. Begin by wearing ...Introduction. Ever wondered how comedians can get a room erupting in laughter with just a single line? That's the power of a well-crafted one-liner. Let's dive …Three Words: Chuck Norris Golf. 23. Golfer: “I think I’ll go drown myself in that lake.”. Caddie: “I don’t think you’ll keep your head down long enough.”. 24. Golf is a lot like taxes…you go for the green and come out in the hole! 25. It takes a serious amount of balls to golf like I do. 26.Apr 2, 2020 · He’s like a sort of corrupt tele-evangelist that Columbo would have as a baddie or something." "I’m very old now and I’ve got a body like a dropped lasagne. Women now look at my naked body ...Oct 17, 2009 · 4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer. 5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list. Looking to pay off your mortgage faster? Here are ten ideas that will help speed up the payment process. The College Investor Student Loans, Investing, Building Wealth Updated: Oct...These 53 one-liners are more than just ephemeral jests; they are a testament to the human ability to find laughter amidst the sternest settings. It’s a healthy reminder that a dose of humor can make the medicine go down a little easier, and perhaps, brighten the day of both the healer and the ailing. So the next time …Looking to pay off your mortgage faster? Here are ten ideas that will help speed up the payment process. The College Investor Student Loans, Investing, Building Wealth Updated: Oct...Here's 30 of the best action hero one liners of all time: endlessly quotable quotes that sum up the movies they are from and the people that are saying them. 1. John McClane "Yippee Ki Yay motherf***er" Bruce Willis, Die Hard. 2. King Leonidas "This is Sparta!" Gerard Butler, 300. 3. Harry Callahan "You've got to ask yourself one question: …A panicked Thai father calls his wife while she’s grocery shopping. Their newborn baby is crying inconsolably—what should he do? After a comical series of attempts to quiet the bab...Nowadays, legs spread quicker than rumors. Women and rocks are very much alike … We skip the flat ones. I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind. Don’t call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses. I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can’t watch porn.These funny one-liners are more related to day-to-day situations, whether it's navigating the challenges of work, juggling responsibilities, or simply everyday life situations. I always take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila. I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke. I know they say … Faster than double-struck lightning. Faster than a speeding bullett. No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. 37.5m. We’ve prepared a collection of 100 utterly uncool yet incredibly hilarious dad jokes ever. "Waiter! TMF: Hillbilly Sayings / Humor and Urban Legends Faster Than Sound | One Liner ... Introduction. Ever wondered how comedians can get a room erupting in laughter with just a single line? That's the power of a well-crafted one-liner. Let's dive …May 19, 2023 · I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus, a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Life is like a bird. It’s pretty until it shits on your head. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me. Quicker Than One Liners. Which quicker than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with quicker than? I can suggest the ones about quicker and slower than. The David Cameron diet: You'll never lose your pounds quicker. Dele Alli joke This virus gunna have to be quicker than that to catch me. What …Aug 12, 2019 · 3. “She doesn’t even go here!”. This line is in this particular spot because I think it's more difficult for younger films to get noticed for their incredible one-liners. Films like The Godfather, Star Wars, or what's considered "classic cinema" tend to get all of the attention for noteworthy lines. Everything was fine until she was told that she would actually have to wear one! What goes up and down quicker than a lift, Britney Spears Knickers. submissons by: write.to.obaid, susan8aharris. Joke Generators: Click Here for a random Pick Up Line; Click Here for a random Yo Mama Joke; Click Here for a random Dirty Joke; …Naughty Valentines Day Jokes. “I like your style, I like your class, but most of all I like your a$$”. “Guys are like Roses, Roses are red, Violets are blue, My knickers get w*t, Just thinking of you.”. “Hey, it beats folding laundry. You’re my favorite thing to do on Valentine’s Day.”. “Suds are so sexy.Despite being a low budget film, Dirty Dancing quickly took the world by storm when it strutted into theaters in 1987. The fun coming-of-age film propelled the careers of Patrick S...Nowadays, legs spread quicker than rumors. Women and rocks are very much alike … We skip the flat ones. I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind. Don’t call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses. I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can’t watch porn.Witty One Liners about Men. “You can’t belay a man who’s falling in love.” ~ Edward Abbey. “An empty man is full of himself.”. “A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item she doesn’t want.” ~ William Binger. “The male is a domestic animal who ...35 brilliant one-liners that will make you smile. 07/11/2023 by Roy Sutton. Whenever I share funny one-liners with readers, the posts are always popular. So it seemed like a good idea to collect a few more for you. I’ve been collecting a lot more one-liners of late, so I thought it was time I shared them with you, dear reader.The perfect one-liner leaves the recipient at a loss for a comeback, and should make sense immediately. If the phrase doesn't make sense or has to be explained, the effect is lost. The phrases shown adhere to the witty and punchy stereotype of a classical one-liner, but quickly become more niche and only understandable for an informed subgroup.01. My wife says she wants another baby. I'm so glad because I also really don't like the first one. 02. A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas …Lawyer Jokes Puns & One Liners: 90 Hilarious Quips for Legal Laughs. By Joke Plant July 14, 2023. jHuddle up, folks, because we’re about to dive into a realm of hilarity with 90 laugh-out-loud jokes about lawyers. These aren’t your typical courtroom dramas; they’re side-splitting, rib-tickling jests that’ll get even …Apr 20, 2023 · Sex is like a burrito, don’t unwrap or that baby’s in your lap. 51. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.”. Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”. 52. A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said, “Depends what’s in it for me.”.Mar 6, 2024 · One-Liner's One Line Insults. Your problem is you have million dollar dreams with a minimum wage work ethic. We call her "Happy Meal", because she always cums with a toy inside. I hope life bites you in the ass. You have enough padding there to take the hit. A dickhead like you would have to take Viagra as a nasal spray.A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical …Aug 12, 2019 · 3. “She doesn’t even go here!”. This line is in this particular spot because I think it's more difficult for younger films to get noticed for their incredible one-liners. Films like The Godfather, Star Wars, or what's considered "classic cinema" tend to get all of the attention for noteworthy lines. According to Simply Good Stuff, dirty residue in a washing machine is usually caused by either insufficient cleaning or mechanical failure. Simply Good Stuff notes that better clea...My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me. One liner tags: attitude, puns, sarcastic, work. 83.20 % / 529 votes. I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver. One liner tags: attitude, car, work. 82.77 % / 706 votes.I cry when I cut up onions. There once was a man from sprocket. Who went for a ride in a rocket. The rocket went bang. His balls went clang. And he found his d**k in his pocket! Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection. A fake name and …Nov 5, 2021 · 27. You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it. 28. There’s a lot to be said in his favor, but it’s not nearly as interesting. 29. They’ve been treating me like one of ... Dirty One Liners. Joke Generator. If you want it dirty and fast... You've come to the right place. We've got it all, from dirty knock knock jokes to dirty puns and much more! …Mar 6, 2024 · One-Liner's One Line Insults. Your problem is you have million dollar dreams with a minimum wage work ethic. We call her "Happy Meal", because she always cums with a toy inside. I hope life bites you in the ass. You have enough padding there to take the hit. A dickhead like you would have to take Viagra as a nasal spray.Leakage is possible due to thin design. Seventh Generation. Chlorine-Free Liners. Great for Sensitive Skin. Chlorine-free panty liners that work well for those who are prone to skin irritation and prefer earth-friendly products. Made without chlorine, which is good for the environment and those with sensitive skin.Jul 24, 2022 · Dirty Riddles I. Riddle: I am mostly six inches long. I go in and out of your mouth in a rhythmic pattern. I am more comfortable when wet and very unpleasant when dry. I can be more fun when I vibrate. In the …Oct 25, 2023 · Related: Ghost Pun Jokes. “I bet I can make you scream tonight.”. “Let’s take this party back to my coffin.”. “I could make the hairs on your neck stand up.”. “I’ve got some wicked feelings brewing for you.”.Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. Most of these cute one liners are from the iconic comedians and others are from random people. I am originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana – …See full list on funnyjokestoday.com Jun 2, 2016 · Here we examine a list of Churchill’s best ‘one-liners’ throughout his life. “Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.” —1898. “I object on principle to doing by legislation what properly belongs to human good feeling and charity.” -1902. “War never pays its dividends in cash on the money it costs ...One word: Comedy! In the words of famous pianist and conductor Victor Borge, “Laughter is the closest distance between two people.”. If you have ever watched … A man approached me today and said "I am harder than you, I am better than you, I am faster than you, I am stronger than you." What a Daft Punk. Score: 5. Superman: "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, and more powerful than a locomotive" Batman: "I fight a penguin and a really persistent clown". Score: 4. The first duck rubs the lamp and a genie pops out. The first duck asks the genie for a quicker way to reach "somewhere". With a clap of the genie's hands, a rowboat appears in the lake. The ducks row for a while, but they get tired. The second duck rubs the lamp, and again, the genie pops out. 1 day ago · Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold pint and another one! A cabin with plenty of food is better than a hungry castle. The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven’t seen the joke yet. A hair on the head is worth two on the brush.Dec 16, 2016 · The saying “carpets get dirty quicker once they have been cleaned” is a old wives tail, of sorts! Unfortunately this saying has derived from a number of issues over the years, so is more a misinformed statement. Many people that say this have had a bad experience which is why they say it in the first place they are trying to help you. So ...Jul 12, 2023 · Husband Wife Jokes. For wives, who want to get back at their husband we have assembled a beautiful and hilarious collection of husband wife funny jokes. Make use of these wife and husband jokes and have fun. Wife: Let’s go out and have fun tonight! Husband: Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on.Birthday one liners. I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket. One liner tags: animal, birthday, puns. 91.51 % / 1754 votes. I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. One liner tags: attitude, birthday, life, puns. 78.96 % / 399 votes.And they cry because there’s no trifle left.”. “I don’t like meals for one. It’s not that they make me feel lonely. It’s that they’re not big enough.”. “The annoying thing about ...Jimmy Carr has the best one-liners. Seven minutes of escalating offensive jokes (one-lines, a lot of them) from Mr. Carr. I really like this 10+ minute of his where he puts hecklers in their place. I think Andriy Shevchenko was the only person from the region that got a …27. You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it. 28. There’s a lot to be said in his favor, but it’s not nearly as interesting. 29. They’ve been treating me like one of ...These clever one-liners, dad jokes, and different kinds of puns will make your New Year 2023 fun.. You, your kids, and all the family members together can enjoy these New Years jokes this holiday.. Moreover, these New Year jokes include corny, dirty, stupid, and kids friendly jokes for different situations.. Pick suitable jokes, memes, riddles, and trivia on …Quicker Than One Liners. Which quicker than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with quicker than? I can suggest the ones about quicker and slower than. The David Cameron diet: You'll never lose your pounds quicker. Dele Alli joke This virus gunna have to be quicker than that to catch me. What …What mistake did Johnny and Ponyboy make? They fell asleep in the park. Which is the best summary of the end of chapter three? Ponyboy gets into an argument with Darry and leaves the house, but later decides to return. Quizlet to study for Thursday's Test Learn with flashcards, games, and more — for free.From puns and wordplay to clever one-liners, dirty dad jokes are a hilarious way to spice up any conversation or get-together. So sit back, relax, and get ready to groan with delight at these best dirty dad jokes! ... From clever puns to witty one-liners, these jokes are sure to have you and your friends cracking up. So buckle up, brace ...We’ve got a list of dirty jokes that any girl can share with a guy. And t rust us, they’re not for the faint of hear t. Whether you’re looking to make your guy friend (or …From puns and wordplay to clever one-liners, dirty dad jokes are a hilarious way to spice up any conversation or get-together. So sit back, relax, and get ready to groan with delight at these best dirty dad jokes! ... From clever puns to witty one-liners, these jokes are sure to have you and your friends cracking up. So buckle up, brace ...A husband and wife are in bed watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire". The husband asks to make love. The wife says, "No." Her husband asks, "Is that your final answer?" She …If Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice go out for lunch, they will call each other Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice. If Fred, Luke, Bradley, and Jeff go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla. =========== ... A big list of tighter than jokes, submitted and ranked by users.Jan 16, 2024 · Funny, Dirty Pick-Up Lines. 1. Hey girl, is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon. 2. Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you. 3. Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it. 4. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him ...Jun 16, 2023 · Funny One-Liners. 1. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. 2. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. 3. I failed math so many times at school ...Not only did the series boast a whole host (pun intended) of very famous faces, they were also incredibly funny. So with that said, here's 19 of the funniest one-liners from the Vicar of Dibley. Dawn French played Rev Geraldine Granger in the Vicar of Dibley (Image: BBC) 1. Owen: "I am a great supporter of sex before marriage.01. My wife says she wants another baby. I'm so glad because I also really don't like the first one. 02. A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas …Because nothing should be tighter than an altar boy's bond with god. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. A priest goes to the mechanic. He tells the mechanic, "hey, I just brought in my car last week, and since you guys worked on it, it's leaking oil all over my garage." The mechanic says, "my apologies father, we'll …6 days ago · Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. You'll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. Shell One-liners and Quick and Dirty Loops. Sometimes you just need to get stuff done quickly and there’s nary a replacement better than a quick shell one-liner. Recently I’ve needed to feed some large, multi-variable commands into an external program for processing. Here’s some simple shell one-liners and …Husband Wife Jokes. For wives, who want to get back at their husband we have assembled a beautiful and hilarious collection of husband wife funny jokes. Make use of these wife and husband jokes and have fun. Wife: Let’s go out and have fun tonight! Husband: Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on.Everyday Quirks One-Liners. “I mentioned to my wife that her eyebrow sketches were lofty. She raised an eyebrow.”. “On my whiskey diet, I’ve misplaced a few days this week.”. “Diving into a book on floating in space. I just can’t set it aside!”. “I don’t grapple with madness; I relish its every tick.”. “My bed’s an ...These 53 one-liners are more than just ephemeral jests; they are a testament to the human ability to find laughter amidst the sternest settings. It’s a healthy reminder that a dose of humor can make the medicine go down a little easier, and perhaps, brighten the day of both the healer and the ailing. So the next time …Feb 15, 2024 · Tony Stark is a man of many talents. Along with his superior scientific intellect, Iron Man's one-liners are consistently quick and clever. He's the heart of the MCU, and along with his legendary unscripted lines, had some of the funniest dialogue in the entire franchise. There's never a time he's been at a loss for words. Add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs and pray you don't multiply. There once was a monarch named Ed. Who screwed Mrs. Simpson in bed. As they bounced up and down, He yelled, "Bugger the Crown! We'll give it to Bertie, instead!" A guy goes to the supermarket one day. Dirty One Liners. Joke Generator. If you want it dirty and fast... You've come to the right place. We've got it all, from dirty knock knock jokes to dirty puns and much more! …Funny One Liner Jokes. 1. I asked the IT guy, “How do you make a Motherboard?”. He said, “I tell her about my job.”. 2. The inventor of the throat lozenge died last month. There was no coffin at his funeral. 3.Feb 24, 2022 · Basically, due to being so short, these jokes are very universal and can be used in a variety of circumstances (appropriate ones, of course) and ways. #4. The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family. Report. Don't ignore your agency pricing strategy. Consider these approaches and experiment to optimize your profits. Trusted by business builders worldwide, the HubSpot Blogs are your num...Aug 30, 2023 · An Irishman and his son walk into a zoo. One of the signs says, “Feed the elephant a bun to get your age.”. The little boy gives the elephant a bun and it stomps its foot 6 times. “Wow,” says the boy, “That’s right I am 6, you have a go dad!”. The Irish chap gives the elephant a bun. A moment later the elephant farts and stomps twice.Tony Stark is a man of many talents. Along with his superior scientific intellect, Iron Man's one-liners are consistently quick and clever. He's the heart of the MCU, and along with his legendary unscripted lines, had some of the funniest dialogue in the entire franchise. There's never a time he's been at a loss for words.Because nothing should be tighter than an altar boy's bond with god. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. A priest goes to the mechanic. He tells the mechanic, "hey, I just brought in my car last week, and since you guys worked on it, it's leaking oil all over my garage." The mechanic says, "my apologies father, we'll …Think of it as Seinfeld versus Chapelle: Both are funny, but only one comedian can play in the background while your 10-year-old is still awake. With that in mind, here are 76 super corny one-liners for kids that get to the punchline as quickly as possible. If one doesn’t land, just move on to the next one because that’s the beauty of the ...Aug 21, 2018 · Via Giphy. "Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor." — Psychological_Ring. These funny one-liners, shared by the Reddit community, are perfect for sharing at parties.Funny One Liner Jokes. 1. I asked the IT guy, “How do you make a Motherboard?”. He said, “I tell her about my job.”. 2. The inventor of the throat lozenge died last month. There was no coffin at his funeral. 3.These clever one-liners, dad jokes, and different kinds of puns will make your New Year 2023 fun.. You, your kids, and all the family members together can enjoy these New Years jokes this holiday.. Moreover, these New Year jokes include corny, dirty, stupid, and kids friendly jokes for different situations.. Pick suitable jokes, memes, riddles, and trivia on …Jul 11, 2023 · Body like a Greek statue – completely pale, no arms.”. – Phil Wang. “If God had written the Bible, the first line should have been ‘It’s round.'”. – Eddie Izzard. “I bought ...01. My wife says she wants another baby. I'm so glad because I also really don't like the first one. 02. A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas …The idea behind ‘faster than’ idioms is that you’re likening one thing to another to illustrate how fast it is. This is a kind of simile. Here are some examples of …© Юрий Красильников - stock.adobe.com When the seasons change, you might start looking forward to the scent of spring flowers or crisp fall air, but the Expert Advice On Improving ...

Christian one liners. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. One liner tags: christian, puns. 82.64 % / 3842 votes. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. One liner tags: car, christian. 82.53 % / 2766 votes. Plan ahead - It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.. Sabrinabanks nudes

Because nothing should be tighter than an altar boy's bond with god. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. A priest goes to the mechanic. He tells the mechanic, "hey, I just brought in my car last week, and since you guys worked on it, it's leaking oil all over my garage." The mechanic says, "my apologies father, we'll …Dec 9, 2021 · 606 shares. By. Funny Irish jokes irish jokes one-liner funny irish jokes. Cúl an Tí By Seán Ó Ríordáin – Irish And English Version. Top Irish Poem Number 82: A Drover By Padraic Colum. Denny Farrell. Wednesday 8th of March 2023. Thanks for the joy. Chicago, IL.27. You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it. 28. There’s a lot to be said in his favor, but it’s not nearly as interesting. 29. They’ve been treating me like one of ...Birthday one liners. I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket. One liner tags: animal, birthday, puns. 91.51 % / 1754 votes. I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. One liner tags: attitude, birthday, life, puns. 78.96 % / 399 votes.Aug 30, 2023 · An Irishman and his son walk into a zoo. One of the signs says, “Feed the elephant a bun to get your age.”. The little boy gives the elephant a bun and it stomps its foot 6 times. “Wow,” says the boy, “That’s right I am 6, you have a go dad!”. The Irish chap gives the elephant a bun. A moment later the elephant farts and stomps twice.Biology Jokes Pick Up Lines. “Girl, your name must be Phylum, because you are above class.”. “Baby, every time i see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up.”. “I think my heart just lagged.”. “If I were an enzyme, I’d be helicase so i could unpackage your genes.”. “You must be the one for me, since my selectively ...cartoons, jokes, one liners, one-liners, One Liners, One-Liners, One-liners, dirty jokes, clean jokes, comedy, humor, humour, funny stories, confucius say, Confucius Say, put downs, come backs, observations . More One Liners. Confucius Say Insults and Putdowns One-Liners, Page Two One-Liners, Page Three Home Page …The idea behind ‘faster than’ idioms is that you’re likening one thing to another to illustrate how fast it is. This is a kind of simile. Here are some examples of …Dirty cat jokes bring together two seemingly opposing concepts: innocence and naughtiness. Cats, with their adorable looks and playful personalities, are typically associated with cuteness and innocence. However, when combined with dirty humor, they become a delightful juxtaposition that catches us off guard.Dec 3, 2020 · Below are just a few redneck sayings and quotes pages created by our guests. Southern Voice: a few funny redneck sayings and a photo of my pet dear. Redneck Stomp Jokes: you might be a redneck if your lady can do it faster than you and more…. Redneck Laughter: very funny you might be a redneck one liners. An old one but sic. "faster than an ethiopian running after a chicken!" The Donster Inner circle 4817 Posts: Posted: Jun 13, 2005 05:50 pm 0. How about my money is gone quicker then I can make it thanks to something called a wife. ruaturtle Regular user Gastonia, NC 113 Posts: Posted: Jun 19, 2005 12:15 pm 0. …You’re like a fine piece of cheese – the older you get, the more you smell, but people still love you. Happy birthday! Don’t worry, [insert age] isn’t so bad. It’s just a little closer to [insert age plus 20]. Happy birthday! You’re like a classic book – everyone still loves you, even if you’re a little outdated.Aug 12, 2019 · 3. “She doesn’t even go here!”. This line is in this particular spot because I think it's more difficult for younger films to get noticed for their incredible one-liners. Films like The Godfather, Star Wars, or what's considered "classic cinema" tend to get all of the attention for noteworthy lines. Ancient proverb say. “Never bait trap with wolf to catch wolf.” (Shadows Over Chinatown) Ancient proverb say, “One small wind can raise much dust.” (Dark Alibi) …Jul 11, 2023 · A fish swam into a concrete wall, Dam! Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. The guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda was lucky it was a soft drink. The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize. Now that you disinfected your wound and the bleeding stopped, what can you do to help the wound heal faster? Proper treatment and healing tips vary based on the severity of the wou...Mar 25, 2021 · Turns out, good players are hard to find. A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, "You have to help me, I think I'm shrinking." "Now settle down," the doctor calmly told him. "You'll just have to learn to be a little patient." If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims. By Alex Nelson. April 24, 2023 2:27 pm (Updated April 24, 2023 2:28 pm) Sometimes you just want to make somebody laugh, but are pushed for time. Whether it’s the swift one …This is one of the most iconic of all the classic cowboy one-liners. It speaks to the idea that quick thinking is generally more effective than slow thinking. “Never let your mouth write a check your backside can’t cash.”. This is another classic cowboy saying that speaks to being careful with your words and actions..

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